Find me where the wild things are…
I apologize for being a jerk last night. I have the most beautiful girlfriend who also is an amazing person and I should not have put you in an awkward position. At this point, we should not be debating whether I am attracted to you or not for I am. I am not naive and I can control myself, so, if you see me acting uninterested forwards, it’s because I am controlling myself not because I am no longer interested. Your mother was like an aunt to me, therefore, you are like Adetoluwani to me- a sister…. Henceforth, that is all you shall remain to me especially with how you helped my dad. Whatever you need, let me know. By the way, you need more clothes. You’ve been wearing just one jeans.
Over that tight…
Oh sh**, who am I kidding?
I am loosing control.
How can I face her and tell her all of this when I can’t look at my mirror and say it to it? I dry-heave. I wish there was something I could take to rid this nonsense out of my mind.
I got you, bro.
For the first time, my mind works in my favor. A picture of my dad in the hospital flashes in mind.
So, he has been walking around with one kidney. This is surely a very interesting turn of events and I can’t wait to hear what happened. I should get ready and go replace Adetoluwani. I have never really confronted my dad about anything. At least, not as seriously as this is going to be. I’m warming up because I’m really against those ropes. I don’t care anymore.
Breathe in; breathe out.
Let it out.
Everywhere seems silent but I know the maids are awake and everywhere in the house. I don’t know which duty she is on, so, I tiptoe across the house as silently and inconspicuously as possible. I can hear clattering and all from the kitchen and I retreat more into the shadows.
When I get to the car, I breathe out in relief. I don’t want to see her yet because I don’t know how to act yet.
I press the unlock button on my key fob before I get to my car but her voice syncs with the sound my car makes when it comes unlocked and I startle, dropping my car keys.
“She told me to bring food for her and I decided to pack something for you too.”
I pick up my car keys.
“Don’t worry, bring it. I will take it there. You don’t have to be there.” She looks so refreshing. At least, there is no sign of whatever happened between us yesterday and I don’t even know whether to be relieved or upset.
“No, it’s no trouble.” She says, simply.
I grab it from her hand and dump it at the back of the car.
I guess it’s ‘upset’ then.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” She says but I ignore her.
I just get into the car and back away as I stare at her. She didn’t even look away.
Why are you so mad?
I don’t even understand.
I hope today doesn’t turn out to be shitty a day or at least, I’m not dubbed as a jerk.
I told you I wasn’t ready to see her.