Routine Love 32

I’m soooooooooooooooooo soooooooooooooooo sorry, guy. Things should be smooth sailing onwards.

“How did it go so so wrongly for you?”

What’s happening here?

I’m staring at her, speechless. She is looking at me as if waiting for a reply.

 Is she serious right now?

“So, what’s your plan? Is it for Tom Stiles?”

Oh no, she didn’t.

“You’re my mother?” I ask.

“Yes.” She says, taking a step towards me.

“Can we do this some other time? It’s been quite a shock.” I had her off, talking calmly when all I want to do is scratch her eyes out for leaving me all those years ago.

Her mouth moves like she wants to say something but the. She thinks better of it and leaves without a word.

I text my dad immediately the door closes on her.

Some crazy woman just came over and said she was my mother. Please, call me dad.

Come home, Boluwatife.

He replies and I do exactly that after my last paper.

Everywhere is gloomy at home. At least, I have my friends in school. I will go into labor anytime soon.

“I can’t wait to meet you, Champ!” 

The ultrasound says it’s a boy and in my heart of hearts, I always knew.

There is absolutely nothing for me to do. My dad has help for everything.

I have questions my dad is begging me not to ask with his eyes. I want to know so much about my mum but it’s a dead end. He has been so supportive so, it has been pretty easy for me to yield to his one wish.

I’m in pieces even though on the outside, I look whole. I need to replace the missing pieces. I stand up from the bed and fluff the pillow after making the bed.

I hear my dad honk at the gate and my heart starts beating rapidly as I make a one minute decision.

“Dad!” I exclaim as soon as he gets to the foyer. He looks so tired that I almost change my mind but no. “Welcome back, sir.” I greet.

“Thank you.” He says, looking at me warily. “Shouldn’t you be asleep? Our girl needs rest. You’re due in a few days.” Even though the ultrasound has confirmed it’s a dude, my dad still firmly thinks it’s a girl.

“We need to talk.”

“I’m tired, Boluwatife.”

“We have to do this now!” My voice has risen. One, to overshadow the doubt clouding my thought.  Two, to how him I’m not here to play. “Please, sit down. Why don’t you want to say what’s on your mind about my mom.”

“I told you my mom or a crazy woman who says she is my mom came to see me in school. Why is that so hard for you to discuss?”

He sighs. “I loved your mother and I thought she loved me too but she left me at my most vulnerable.” He shrugs.

“So, she is my mother?”

“I did not see the crazy woman that came to you.”

“Okay, where is my mother now?”

“I don’t know” He says and as the words leave his mouth, I know he is lying.

“Why won’t  you tell me?!” I have started hyperventilating. A woman I never gave a second thought to since I was eleven has been at the forefront of my mind for the past six days.

“I’m not discussing this again with you and that’s the end of this discussion. You’re just like your mother.” He says and walks away.

I feel a painful shock go through my tummy immediately. It’s so sharp but very brief. Gone within seconds. 

I will leave him this night but this is definitely not the end of this discussion.

The next pain comes in the middle of the night around 1am. Is this what is called contractions? It’s so painful. I clutch at my abdomen in a fetal position as another bout passes through me. I’m due in three days. I can’t be contracting now.  I feel nauseous.

88888888

I’ve been thinking of this for the past eight hours now. Assessing and reassessing.

I say I don’t love her anymore but look at me planning on how to get her back, for keeps this time, even though she cheated on me and even got herself pregnant.

The other lady I could have loved just as much as I love Tife turned me into this monster. The monster that would slap the woman he loved without thinking. That’s my most regretted action. Nothing beats it. I totally lost control. I just hope she would forgive me and take me back even though I don’t deserve it. I scroll through for her friend’s contact on Facebook, resuming my plan.

I hope this Bolatito girl comes through for me like she did the last time.

Advertisements